swarnpert:

[pours water into bottle cap and drinks it] sophistication

highwaytohellno:

#me at the doctor’s office

(Source: hoechlinshasmoved)

kaiidth:

favorite mass effect relationships » Female Shepard/Garrus romance

"Not sure if Turian heaven is the same as yours, but if this thing goes sideways and we both end up there…meet me at the bar. I’m buying."
"We’re a team, Garrus. There’s no Shepard without Vakarian, so you better remember to duck."
Me while reading: Noooo! My poor sweet babies! AUTHOR, WHY MUST YOU TORMENT YOUR CHARACTERS SO?
Me while writing: This character has been orphaned, whipped, sentenced to death, thrown overboard by pirates, captured by enemy soldiers, near-fatally poisoned, put on trial for his life before an angry mob, tortured in front of his best friend, and thrown into prison again.
Me while writing: ...
Me while writing: Let's stab him.

twerkingdead:

*looks in a mirror* you again

poppinheatsinks:

requested by durinling

dfwcub:

budacub:

nerdbotmk2:

last night i found the most perfect christmas card of all time

i bought it, but i am keeping it for myself.

He’s checkin it thrice….

He’s gonna find out if you’re naughty or nice.

Permalink

3 months ago
237,395 notes

Tags

#me

(Source: salikawood)

mom: ok u wait in line i forgot to get the milk
me: ok
me:
me:
me:
me: mom where are you please
me: mom please the line is moving fast
me: mom i cant breathe where r u it's almost my turn
employee: next
me:
employee:
me: faints

derlaine:

The boyfriend has been calibrating some Nerf guns. They originally look like these